Disclaimer
The insights and suggestions provided here are based on personal experience as a parkour practitioner with over 20 years of training, 12 years of coaching, and 5 years of ontological and philosophical education. I am not a therapist, a medical expert, or a sports psychologist. Always consult with professionals in those fields for specific guidance or expertise.
Parkour coaching isn't just about teaching precise movements and techniques; it encapsulates an entire philosophy that hinges on effective communication and understanding. Coaches in this discipline carry not just a manual of moves but a diverse toolkit of communication methods tailored for every unique interaction.
This communication isn't mere instruction. It is an art and understanding that is as refined and precise as a surgeon's scalpel. When wielded adeptly, it does more than convey instructions; it connects students and coaches, bridges emotional gaps, and fosters an environment of trust. As we delve deeper into the student's psyche, we touch upon their motivations, dreams, insecurities, and fears, forging a bond that extends beyond the physicality of parkour.
Mastering parkour coaching is a journey in striking the right balance. While the discipline's athletic aspects remain vital, it's equally crucial to recognize and address the emotional and psychological dimensions inherent in every student-coach relationship. As mentors in this unique world of movement and philosophy, continuous refinement of our communication skills is not just recommended—it's imperative. Only then can we truly nurture an atmosphere where both coach and student thrive, bound by trust and mutual growth.
Introducing: Generous Invitations
In the arena of coaching, where dynamics constantly shift and challenges arise, one recurring theme often stands out: the feeling of exclusion. Imagine being a student, brimming with potential, yet being cast aside or overlooked due to past behaviors or preconceived judgments.
This undercurrent of exclusion can greatly affect a student's confidence, motivation, and willingness to engage. Here is where the transformative power of "Generous Invitations" comes into play.
"Generous Invitations" isn’t just about extending an offer for participation. It's about creating a nurturing atmosphere where each student, irrespective of their past, feels welcomed, respected, and truly valued. It's in the coach's deliberate choice to include everyone, especially those who might typically be sidelined. It’s the art of offering open arms even to those students who have historically resisted or rebelled, ensuring they know they are an essential part of the community.
"Generous Invitations" signify an open-hearted approach, where each student, regardless of behavioral history, is seen as a crucial and valuable member of the group. It's about consciously reaching out to those who may otherwise feel sidelined, building bridges, and fostering a sense of camaraderie and belonging.
Examples (click to expand):
Scenario 1: In a team sport setting, where a particular player has previously shown reluctance to participate due to perceived lack of skill.
Typical Invitation: "Alright, everyone, let's gather up for the next drill. John, if you're feeling unsure, you can sit this one out."
Generous Invitation: "Alright, everyone, let's gather up for the next drill. John, I've noticed your improvement lately and think this drill will further build your skills. Will you join in?"
Scenario 2: In a classroom setting where students are being asked to share personal stories or experiences, and one student has historically been quieter or more reserved.
Scenario 3: During a brainstorming session before game time, where a particular student has been overshadowed by louder voices.
Scenario 4: In a community workshop on painting where a participant once struggled and got discouraged.
Scenario 5: In a group therapy setting where participants are encouraged to discuss their progress, and one individual has often stayed silent due to past traumas.
Why it's important
At its core, "Generous Invitations" seeks to bridge the gap between exclusion and inclusion. It's about recognizing that past behaviors, mistakes, or attitudes should not dictate a student's future participation or sense of belonging. By consistently and sincerely inviting all students to engage:(Expand)
Which Scenarios to use this skill in
Application in Real Coaching Scenarios (Expand)
Which of the Four Common Misbehaviors this applies to most:
The Challenge
Students influenced by revenge motives often feel trapped in a cycle of negative expectations and behavior. Their history, marred by experiences of being labeled, misunderstood, or even cornered, causes them to act out, anticipating punishment and judgment even before it arrives.
How Clean Slate Listening Helps
For these students, the anticipation of negative responses is almost a self-fulfilling prophecy. They act out expecting retribution and, in turn, often receive it. But what if that cycle could be disrupted? Clean Slate Listening allows coaches to interact without pre-conceived biases. Instead of expecting the worst, the coach listens to the student's current feelings, concerns, and aspirations as if hearing them for the first time. This fresh approach challenges the student's negative expectations, making them feel valued beyond their behavior and starting the process of reshaping their identity.
The Challenge
These students harbor deep-seated beliefs of inadequacy. Past experiences of failure, ridicule, or not measuring up fuel a fear that they'll always be perceived as inferior or not good enough. They anticipate disengagement or reluctance to try, given their history.
How Clean Slate Listening Helps
With Clean Slate Listening, every day is a new opportunity. Every interaction is devoid of past disappointments. For a student who has been chronically disengaged or hesitant, being encouraged and listened to as if it's the first day they entered the gym can be transformative. By not letting past inactions or reluctance color the interaction, coaches can instill a fresh sense of confidence and motivation in these students. Over time, these positive interactions can help rewrite the narrative of inadequacy they've built about themselves.
Pitfalls to be wary of with this skill
While the intent behind "Generous Invitations" is pure, the road to implementing them isn't devoid of challenges.
Bias in Execution: An Insightful Dive:
The Challenge
Comfort is an intrinsic human desire. It can inadvertently guide us towards familiar patterns or gravitate us towards individuals who seem more receptive or easier to handle. This might lead coaches to, unintentionally, extend invitations predominantly to students they favor or have an easier rapport with, leaving out the very individuals who would benefit most from these invitations.
The Impact
Such selective practices erode the foundational principle of "Generous Invitations." Students who already battle feelings of exclusion or marginalization find their beliefs reaffirmed, exacerbating their detachment from the group.
The Solution
Intentionality and self-awareness. For "Generous Invitations" to truly resonate, coaches must be consistently aware of their actions and intentions. They must challenge themselves to ensure that each student—especially those who've been historically challenging or difficult—is genuinely and warmly invited to participate. This means actively reflecting on one’s own biases and making conscious efforts to counteract them.
Final Thoughts
A "Generous Invitation" is more than a gesture—it's a transformative act. By ensuring that each student feels genuinely invited and valued, irrespective of their past, coaches lay the groundwork for trust, mutual respect, and collective growth. The Power of invitation!
Resources
Resources for Head Coaches Head Coach: The Unsung Hero The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication How to Handle Discipline in a Parkour Gym
Four Types of Common Misbehavior Undue Attention Power Revenge Assumed Inadequacy
Communication Skills for Coaches First Step Understanding Transparent Communication Clean Slate Listening Sincere Sharing Powerful Requests Trustworthy Promises Expressing Commitment Generous Invitations
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